Summarizing

The last week of the "politically correct" summer was a great demonstration of what teenage should really mean. I previously spoke about my first day at Jacobs, the people I met, my mood. Now I feel that I've already spent at least two months here, that's because the atmosphere seems to suit me. Diversity, energy, fun, ambition, curiosity, youth are just some of the key-words that come into my mind right now. I try being unbiased when describing Jacobs, but this can't really occur, because I've already started calling it "home". This transition is quite strange, as long as I don't find anyone in my Mercator room to wait me with lunch. Fortunately, the Aramark food is fine (yet)and I don't need more than a minute to get into the servery. Daily scenario is not very typical yet, so I managed to avoid routine, grace to the unpredictable schedule for the Orientation Week. Monday was designed for gates & eyes-opening, as I said. Tuesday, the so-called "Official Welcome Day", began with early sports in the morning. According to the German deadline, I missed the start, because I arrive one minute later where the group should have met. I did my morning sport by myself, so that I didn't have to run countinously for 40 minutes. Instead of this, I enjoy the Green 'Campus Green' at dawn.....breathing in, breathing out.... So fresh and touchable, yet so unreal. After breakfast, we took the official group photo of the entire class. Here is it!


Pretty cool! I'm not that cheerful every day, so you may gonna miss my smile....although this one was a bit exaggerate. (instead of "cheese" the photographer told us to say "whiskey", because it works muck better)
Besides signing papers and getting everything settled I started thing about a way to decorate my room. It seems that I picked the right colors for the beddings as they suit the orange atmosphere instilled by the floor.
The "Big Goodbye" scene took place at lunch and I did my best not to make it look pathetic and overemotionally. I was the one who left home, but not the one leaving. With the illusion of my parents' car going out of campus I didn't feel like leaving them alone.
Wednesday we listened the safety instructions that were very seriously explained and we all have to test our ability to use fire estinguisher on a fake fire. It was quite fun, as I thing nobody had done that before, so that we looked pretty clumsy.
My first academic success came Mittwoch, as I took my language placement test for German and French. The adoptive language proved to be very kind to me, as the quiz wasn't as hard as I had expected. Most of those who came to take the test were absolute beginners, so that only a quarter of us remained in the lecture hall. The general atmosphere of the test time was definitely induced by Romanians who thought that cheating would bring them to a higher level. I can only remember the professors voice warning them not to talk to each other : a neutral tone, yet superior and detached that would have made me blush if I had been warned myself. German dignity contaminated me;)
As for the French test, I was surprised to find in the main question of the test my high school teacher's style. I did I well, I had a nice conversation with the professor, who convinced me that my 7th course for this semester(besides the 5 mandatories and German) would definitely be French. Let me skip the waiting part and tell you that I'm B 2.1 German and C 1.1 French, that means intermediary for the 1st one and advanced for the 2nd.
Somehow I'm not sorry for missing the Social Nights in the ChillOut Zone, because I (we)found many interesting things to do as an independent group.
Maybe the most intensive Jacobian part was the "IUB Rocks Event"...let me quote an official source... " an important tradition for all new students". It doesn't seem very appealing, does it?
Lucky me, I woke up in time, and my dreams weren't spoiled by the alarm call - used by the organizers and student advisers to wake us up (besides aggressive knocking on doors and yelling). We started with some warming up exercise, that made us all feel stupid. Look at this:




Hands-free eating ...






The great rush...


Two by Two jumping ...

Skipping the hands-free cake-eating, let's focus on the most deep part of the initiating ceremony. We joined all in three circles, grouping by the college where we live in: Krupp, Mercator,(mine) College 3 and Blue House.
Than we all joined together in a bigger circle and started squeezing, so that the circle had no more than 15 meters diameter. I couldn't take any photo, as the exercise was a really tough one. Not only had we squeezed, but also we had to sit each on other's loop.
The climax of the scenario, kissing the little Trivia Ducks on the pond, was a unique moment for each of us. We had already surpassed the frustration episode and got into confusion and stupid acceptance. The rubber mascots have a great symbolic meaning, as they are metaphor for intercultural competence.My own and personal duck is a great friend of Pudding...

Let's go on with the IUB Rocks story... So, we kissed the ducks, it was a bit embarrassing, but I'd have regretted not to take part in such an event.




We promised a revenge on the next generation, but unfortunately we'll pay back to some innocent freshies. In fact, this is exactly what they did to us.
In the next afternoon we took or time, having a pleasant walk to the mall. Stuff that I bought really improved my room's aspect. Now it looks very bright; I picked soft orange because of its therapeutic effect and I hope it will work even during the depressing exams time.

Saturday was maybe the most active day of the week, as we "dived into Jacobs". The purpose of our CSI game was getting to know the surroundings of the campus, and find a hypothetic killer. We were grouped in five teams, named with Greek letters. I was in Delta (force), but my team didn't win, as we wasted more than an hour in a wrong location. After 4 hours of walking and changing buses, we missed our lunch and got angry. I was pleased with some juice, but my nap was really affected by hunger. I started dreaming of Jacobs, of people around here, and it seemed like I was falling in my friends' disgrace. Well, the episode I dreamed to came true after only 24 hours. Unfortunately...
Sunday brunch made me more dizzy than I previously was. Well, it might have been because of the early jogging and the after party landscape that replaced the real campus. Here is a suggestive photo...


Don't you imagine that it stayed the same for the next twenty minutes. The pure green atmosphere was settled back soon after.

Die Bremer Altstadt refreshed my mood and so did my first travel with a German train - as punctual as possible.
Here I am in my softly lit room, living my first episode of serious depression. 10 napkins gone, some more to go. Long live messenger....and my real friends!

1st Jacobs-inspired post

The traveling episode may be skipped, as the main point of all these days was my REAL coming to Jacobs University. A fresh Monday, a perfect weather for ducks, smiling faces at the ' Welcome desk'... Well, I was my very first visit to Campus, as the day before I got in just to take a glance( yes, I stepped in with my right foot!). However, today was the official welcome...
On my way from the hotel to the campus I was getting more and more nervous, in tandem with the speed indicator of the car ( grace to German Highways that, by the way, offer direction for Jacobs Campus). My arrival was very natural , very real; everything got set in a half an hour, I got my keys for my very cute room, filled the check-in forms, unpacked...well, I'm going to do this for the rest of the week.
This part looked quite familiar to every freshman, but for me was people's attitude that set the atmosphere and also my mood. I felt very comfortable being myself in this island of diversity. As my li'l duck on the desk says, I have to "dive into diversity". 95 nationalities joined together is an unique opportunity to explore and also an exercise for life. English is working perfectly right here, dissolving boundaries and constraints.
My new friends are as freshmen as I am. Besides my assigned advisers, I met my roommate (in fact, apartment-mate), Wiebke and some Romanian fellows. Well, that's because I forgot some of the others' names, but since I have my Jacobs Notebook ready, I'll start using it for names and "addresses" (btw, mine is MC 129, and I'm happy to have my room on the ground floor).
After at about six campus tours, we (my 5 already friends and I) had an off-campus tour. Luckily, we didn't get lost and arrive in time for the night party. However, we just took a glance inside the dance room and the bar, because we want to be ready for early morning sport activities. These will be begin at 7 o'clock....and I don't have an alarm clock. there's a nice online application to replace this item, but my blue IT friend is tired too, so I'm not sure if to keep it alive till morning.
This was a enthusiastically brief presentation of my first day at Jacobs, I hope to have time to come back more lucidly to this episode.

De acasă...

Valizele , rucsacul şi toate cele....multe gentuţe ocupă încăperea ce încă e 'camera mea'. De aici se simte cel mai frumos apusul, lumina aceea răsfrântă peste cotorul cărţilor din bibliotecă şi peste icoane. De aici am privit tavanul nopţi de-a rândul, aşteptând să aud acele vorbe ale izbăvirii. Nu ştiu dacă le-am trăit până în final, dar le simt purtându-mă acum către ferestre mai limpezi şi ochi mai deschişi, dar mai aprigi.
De la terminarea şcolii am început să risipesc istoria ultimilor patru ani, împrăştiind pe ici, pe colo, caiete şi ciorne. Acum biroul şi dulapul sunt aproape goale, umplute de jurnale vechi, mape şi ecusoane ferfeniţite.
Plecarea aceasta ar echivala, prin timp şi prin dimensiune, cu o plecare în armată. Spun asta şi fiindcă s-au găsit destui care să facă o astfel de analogie. Nu-mi voi lua cu mine un cufăr de lemn în care să am ascunse poza cu casa, însă conţinutul emoţional al valizelor mele e la fel cu cel al unui viitor ostaş. Oricum, nici un flăcău vrednic nu şi-ar lua cu sine o jucărie de pluş. Pudding al meu (n.r. ursuleţul meu classically designed , care imi asculta of-urile de cinci ani încoace) e mai curajos decât mine şi şi-a făcut loc printre hainele de toamnă din valiză, doar ca să mă însoţească. Multă vreme el a fost mascota unei vârste, a unei idile, acum e doar un memento pentru Acasă.
Alte mărunţişuri dragi sunt biletele de tren colecţionate pe parcursul drumurilor spre sud, de mine şi de alţii. Mă bucur că am şi un exemplar recent, pe care o să-l pun în panoplia onorifică de la Bremen.
Lumea în jurul meu adună gps-uri, hărţi, reviste de citit pe drum, încarcă baterii şi pregăteşte sandwich-uri. Eu m-am mulţumit, până acum, să îmi iau rămas bun de la cei dragi, să termin seria 3 de la 'Lost' şi să mă apuc de 4. Ca să vezi corespondenţă : fiecare sfârşit îşi cere un nou început, cu un box office cât mai consistent.
Se îngrămădesc peste mine toate amintirile cu oameni, cu suflete tari, cu glezne fragile. Lacrimi neplânse, sărutări reţinute şi priviri înapoi îmi încarcă umerii de povara unor greşeli mult prea omeneşti. Le păstrez pe toate ca semne ale unor răni nevindecate, pe trupul apăsat de neuitare. Aş putea să uit doar în zborul de pe urmă plimbarea pe sub stele, cei patru ochi aţintiţi spre cer, visul cu cetatea şi mângâierile pe creştet. Pentru acestea nu îmi trebuie desăgi, nici toiag. Cât încă trupul rabdă să mai respire, ele sunt sădite în poveste. Şi povestea merge mai departe.

Enjoy The Ride - Morcheeba feat Judy Tzuke

Best Advice

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.[...]

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

To the Moon and Back

..and they bite it, they scratch the midnight air with their breathing. Shadows cover the halo and the silence becomes bitter and bitter.

Forword to Good Bye - perfect!

It comes a time when looking back doesn't mean weakness, nor excessive affection. Leaving the country two weeks form now doesn't make me aware of impact with another culture, one that can be pretty harsh, considering the different, German-US, approach to education. Many asked me for reasons to leave, but I've always considered that the purpose of my departure eradicated their curiosity. In fact, some looked for some spectacular proof for the fact I don't suit to the Romanian System. I won't comment upon the back up solution for my undergraduate studies here, but I'd really have few reasons to stay home. Of course, they all appeal to sensitivity, but today I felt something more than a strong emotion towards my country.

The Olympic Games luckily started for Romanians, so WE gained a Golden Medal in Judo in the 1st day. I was just reading the article in the newspaper and I was overwhelmed by the feeling of victory. It wasn't only a matter of devotion to my nation, but the taste of being on top that made me tremble. I have lived less intensive feelings for my own success, maybe because I didn't reach a point to please me.

Perfection is definitely not a point on verge of victory , neither one to make me self-sufficient. A realistic success, based on well-balanced emotional, intellectual and physical condition may configure a robot portrait of a victory. Sometimes it can be annoying that the so-called perfect scores or perfect performance are excessively praised by others around. For so long I felt a threat in my previous success, so that I had always to raise above myself.
Before leaving, I think is high time to establish other parameters for what I shall call 'performance'. Some that are not necessarily related to academic performance, but to self-management (these are quite rude and worn out terms, but I can't avoid them now). Life of responsible grown-ups demands more than a perfect body or a column of A-s.

Narcissism

Special Date

"The symbolism backing number Eight deals largely with business, success, and wealth. This is Largely due to the fact that Eight represents continuation, repetition, and cycles. Such elements are seen in arenas where success is obtained simply because of dogged determination and repetition by the practitioner. Also, matters of business and wealth largely depend on cycles to fulfill their manifestation. It's like the snowball analogy: As it continues to roll, in gets bigger and bigger with each revolution."

I liked a lot this description and by the end of the day I realized how much fate may be absorbed by a single day : 08/08/08. If it were about success and wealth, I am not the one to assimilate a good prediction. Today was meant for shopping, spooky dreams in the afternoon nap, 'healthy' lecture, mom's specialties for dinner, frivolous conversations.
However, 8 has been lucky for me lately. When I took my Subject Tests, I sat on desk no. 8C (and did everything well), I received good news on 8th March/May, I was intensively in love for no longer than 8 months, my 1st kiss was on 26th(2+6) , on 17th(1+7) I met my best friend, and... every day I w8 for a miracle.

Crossroad

Transition

Good books cause the brain to go on strike,' Cărtărescu reflects, on what makes a book good. Late at night I finished his novel "Travesty" which had a striking effect upon my midnight reflection. The subject focuses on an emotional climax, a decisive one for protagonist's maturity. I strongly recommend this book and let you discover what gives the substance of its action. In stead of retelling, I will make you see differently the transition towards maturity.

Victor, the leading character, notices the presence of his younger schoolmates, girls at the age of 10-12; their image provoke stream of harsh affection in teenager's mind. He perceives them “somehow mature, locked in mystery as in the sad moonlight shadow". This bitter light makes them look grown-up females and unveils their fecundity. "If you talked to them, you would immediately realize that they were children- children who were still drawing princesses on their math notebooks. Watching them, I hated more and more the hormonal curse - a total disaster that in twenty years will have transformed them into lascivious females, snob wives, filthy housekeepers, frustrated schoolmistresses, masochist intellectuals - Married, divorced, pregnant again and again, swallowing contraceptive, changing diapers, devouring their men, pouring out their gray substance. Why should they fall? Why can't at least some of them remain naive, gracious and serene? While the nasty worm becomes butterfly, why should they, fragile butterflies, become procreator, rapacious larvae?"
The conclusion left me speechless: "Yes, all of them will reach in a matrimonial bed, a bed which is nothing but a travesty of their own coffin"
The view upon little girls' future is quite bitter. At first lecture, I reacted as discriminated and punished - I am living myself the transition. The description lacks romanticism, but it is entirely applicable, even feminism did a lot for us. Not only women, but society may decay through mental erosion and worn out affection. In fact, the travesty is the dangerous attitude. It may not always lead to a coffin disguised in silky sheets, but it will definitely ruin the emotional inheritance. We may forget childhood and serenity, we may forget that we were butterflies, once...

Stuck on Rewind

Each "goodbye" sounds wronger than the previous one. That is probably because you get used to the crying sound of your voice, to his last-kiss-for-this time, to the clumsy steps that take you both at the station. You always feel that is the last time you see each other, the last sigh before the new beginning. Even the beginning idea is a kind of a dull impulse that crosses your mind.
This time you definitely need to refresh your goodbye attitude, to look a bit cold, self-confident and full of dignity. At least this time you can apply the supergirl plan, in fact, look as he wish you'd ever been. You need to make him miss you, because his reaction is strongly related to your pride.
You don't even let him carry your luggage, you know you have forgotten the umbrella at his place, but you don't want to return there. Every sound that your heels make on the pavement is the perfect translation for "determined". You pay attention to every word you say, you have even saved some good jokes for this time, so that you look detached.
He starts humming something. However, a half of you two doesn't want to admit it is your favorite song.
"The call to arms was never true...
Time to imbibe here's to you"

You feel like singing yourself the song, as you did many nights before he had fallen asleep. Now you convince yourself that is just a memory and a male technique for good impression. You read somewhere that ignoring one's terrible manifests would finally stop the demonstration, so you step forward as nothing happened.
You feel your plan is decaying as you see in flash-backs all your autumns and all your sunrises that you burried together.
You start giving yourself arguments that is nothing wrong with effusive goodbyes.Natural mood is always efficient , isn't it? In the end, you look more "natural" than you have ever wished.
He is carrying your suitcase, you're holding his hand, you're both humming from time to time the same old song...
"It's such a silly thing to do
Now we're stuck on rewind"
In fact, you don't need a beginning, you need yourself, you need all your past dreams to feed you. And his image, although a memory everybody advises you to get rid of, is a protective presence that will guide you a long time for now on.

I lived few times this mentally aggressive goodbye. I remembered this episode because I am still feeling related to those that taught me not to cry for a goodbye. Whether they sang me or not, carried my luggage or kissed me goodbye, they were always there to help me understand the beginning. I lost some of them on my way and I've paid a tribute for them, becoming stronger. I am ready to join them to the station whenever they want to leave, and I would also wait for them at the destination, to see the joy of the beginning on their faces.

Raemon - Supergirl

New Toy feat. Blue Mood

This is the very first post I write on my new laptop, the one meant to be my toy for my college years. It is ....somehow protected and educated, maybe a bit too open-minded, so that I've already caught some viruses. It has done its job well so far, grace to its lovely battery that keeps it awake for at least five hours (wireless). You may say I am not interested in basic technique features, well, I am, but all that count right now it's its Silver Blue Color( Sssh, I don't want to pamper it from the very beginning). In fact, some other things are turning blue for me. Both Jacobs' and Mercator's hallmarks are blue, and so are my expectations and my mood.
New month, new plans and dreams. I got used to wake up pretty late, but this is what my fellows advised me to do in my last holiday at "mama-acasa". It is nice to observe others' home sick au derriere, trying to imagine myself on the verge of depression with plenty of chores for the next week. Besides this, the quote of the day is : "Out of the three things a student needs to survive at Jacobs( sleep, high academic achievement and social life), he/she can get only two of them".
So, I intensively use my right for leisure activities before the cruel 25th.